Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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