And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
