Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
