So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
