i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Please, let me fuck your mom
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize