so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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