she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
