turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
