2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
