I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
