oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
