A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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