You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
