it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
