sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sober January is a disaster.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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