i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
