i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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