Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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