The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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