check it out our google latitudes are spooning
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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