Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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