Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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