the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
