I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize