Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Randomize
