so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
