If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I think I just sharted jello shots
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
