Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
