Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
