she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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