Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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