Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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