I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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