Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
