Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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