she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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