I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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