Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
