I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
