Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
