It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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