Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
