actually, I'm a sock model
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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