Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
