what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
