Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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