Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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