Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
this is an emotional support booty call
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize