Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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