Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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