yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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