My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize