Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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