ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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