i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
