I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
