Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize