yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
