Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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