you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
