Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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