so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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