Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
