The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I need moral support for this bender
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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